ReNew was hope for a different life

I was 13 the first time I saw my mom getting high. Growing up, we had all kinds of people in and out of the house. Drugs were just there. I definitely knew how to get them. And it wasn’t long before I was using too. And then it was just like, trying to hang on.

It’s crazy the things you’ll do when you start to need the drugs just to function.

I bounced around in some really awful relationships with people who were also using. I got pregnant at 22, and my daughter went right from the hospital into foster care, and I lost her.

I was in such a bad place. I just wanted to be numb all the time, not feel anything. I figured I’d probably die this way, and that scared me sometimes. But I didn’t know what else to do. I was just surviving.

My lowest point came a few years ago when I got arrested. And while I was in jail, I found out I was pregnant again. That was a huge wake-up call. I knew I didn’t want to stay on this path. And I didn’t want to lose another child to the system.

In prison, I heard about ReNew. They said they could help me with my addiction and even help me keep my baby. That’s how I got connected with Amy. She helped me get into a recovery center and get ready for life after I got out.

I knew I’d need a lot of help. It would have been so easy to go right back to my old life. Everyone I knew was part of that life. So I didn’t know how I was gonna do this alone. And Amy was like, You are strong, you got this! And I’ll be there with you.

And, man she was—thank God! She was the one person I could count on 100%, no matter what, and that meant the world to me. Amy believed in me, before I believed in myself—I’d never had that before.

She helped me get into a six-month treatment program and made sure I got to my weekly appointments, like my doctor, my counselor, and my support group. We met each week, and in between, I could call or text her anytime, with questions or whatever. She even took me shopping for maternity clothes.

Without that support, I wouldn’t have made it.

Today I’m going on two years drug-free, and it feels amazing to say that! I have my son, Jace, with me, and I can’t even begin to describe that. He gives me so much hope every day, and the love I have for him is overwhelming.

I’m also working on building a relationship with my daughter and her adoptive family. I never expected to be in a place where I could be part of her life.

It’s not that there aren’t struggles. It hasn’t been easy. But knowing I have a lifeline and that help and support is a phone call away... That, paired with my son have kept me fighting! And it is a fight to end each day clean.

ReNew for me was hope for a different life and a chance to be the best mom I can be for my boy. Because he deserves it.

I want other women to know help is out there. I want them to feel loved and supported, like I have. I want them to know if I can make it, they can too.